Part of caregiver frustration is trying to control what you can't.
McCurry says a better approach is to focus on what you CAN control.
In that spirit she encourages caregivers to look at how they behave
and respond. To support this approach she developed strategies for
caregiver success called 
Communication can make or break any relationship. Be mindful
of your tone of voice and speed of speaking, your non-verbal
communications like facial expressions and body language and be
sure to slow down and avoid hurried interactions.
Make sure you have realistic expectations especially those caring
for people with Alzheimer's disease. Expect inconsistent gaps in the
patient's ability, don't assume behavior changes are deliberate or
due to "denial" or "lack of motivation," share safety concerns with
involved family members and expect to experience times when you
feel embarrassed, angry or disappointed.
Take a break when you need it. Remember if you're not healthy
and feeling good you're not providing the best care for your loved
one. So pay attention to your physical and mental health first.
Respite is good for caregivers and those being cared for. Take
advantage of adult day programs like Kokoro Kai and let others
know how they can help. And, find 10 minutes every day to do
something you love.
All behaviors have a cause so take a look at some of the
common triggers including: pain or physical discomfort, infection,
medication side effects, fatigue, over- or under-stimulation and
your caregiver communication style. Then set realistic goals for
resolving the behavior problems, select problems to solve that occur
frequently and don't hesitate to ask others to help brainstorm ideas.
Laughter and love are good medicine for both the caregiver and
the patient. Remember that pleasant events improve mood and
reduce behavior problems and always keep an eye out for uplifts
remembering why you are a caregiver and what your loved one
gives back to you.
You can read more about caregiving in Dr. McCurry's book,
"When A Family Member Has Dementia: Steps to Becoming a
Resilient Caregiver" (2006 Greenwood Press). |
